Day 194 – The Power of PI and Hops

Well, I hit another milestone...sort of. 314 different beers.

For math geeks, 314 are the first three digits of PI. So Ratebeer serenaded me with a music video of some women singing the digits of PI. It lasted about a minute and a half, which was about 80 seconds longer than it needed to be. Truly, after the first ten seconds, I'd gotten the joke and was ready to move on.

In the past week I've sampled 16 different beers, well above my average (what can I say? I'm an overachiever). Sadly, not many are worth writing about. Only one was truly bad, however. Pyramid's Juggernaut Red Ale was nearly as bitter as an IPA. If you like IPAs, then try this because you'll like it. Otherwise skip it. I wish I had. It's like that song from Janet Jackson. "Nasty...nasty beer!"

You know, I'm getting really tired of writing "with a bitter finish" in the tasting notes. 10 out of 16 had that characterization. What is it with breweries and their devotees who think hops are the answer? Eat a frickin' pine cone, if that's what you want!

Beer is made of two ingredients - malt and hops. Malt is sweet and hops are bitter. One balances the other. Ying and yang. I don't want sweet any more than I want bitter. I want beer taste that is balanced. As in not sweet OR bitter. That takes skill. It takes knowledge of how sweet the malt is and knowing just how much of a certain hop it takes to counter that. Any moron can throw a bunch of hops into the mix. It doesn't make them a brewmaster.

It has to be an American thing. I encounter bitterness far more often in American craft brews than I do in beers from other countries. Strong and flavorful doesn't mean bitter in spite of what Starbucks says. A pint of bitter in England is not bitter at all. Give me an Adnams any day. Beats the shit out of that Pyramid crap I had to choke down today.

It's not the style, either. Amber ale is well represented in my book by New Belgium's Fat Tire, Lost Coast's Alleycat, Oak Creek's Amber Ale, Eel River's Amber Ale, Bell's Amber Ale, Widmer's Drop Top Amber Ale, Sam Adams Boston Ale, and Prescott's Liquid Amber Ale. Hello? Anyone listening? There's a hop shortage because too many so-called breweries have adopted the philosophy that if some hops are good, a bunch are better. Isn't beer sometimes referred to as liquid bread? Hey! When grapefruit bread becomes popular, you let me know, okay?

Beer snob or voice of the people? Connoisseur or unsophisticate? Whichever, I definitely know what I like and dislike and bitter beer is in the latter category.

To paraphrase Warsteiner, life is too short to drink bitter beer.

"Pohjanmaan kautta " is either Finnish for "Bottoms up" or the noise one makes when drinking some of the horse pee that passes for beer in this country.

Not that I'm bitter, mind you.


Goal...............524.....365
Progress.........317.....194
Remaining......207.....171

Day 187 – Roll Out the Barrel!

Well, two more milestones bite the dust. I passed the halfway mark in days (182.5) and the 300 mark in beers tasted. When I achieved the latter today, I was rewarded with a video of a guy playing a medley of songs on an accordion that included Beer Barrel Polka and Roll Out the Barrel. Cute, cute, cute.

I have to admit that I'm glad I decided to record the beers I've tasted on Ratebeer.com instead of just in an Excel spreadsheet (I do both). Marking my progress against other raters and being rewarded with silly videos makes it pretty cool. The stats I get from the site are pretty neat as well.

Out of 3420 people who have rated 100 beers or more (uh, uh...99 or less doesn't count), I am 1765th on the list. I'm nearly in the upper half of the 100-beer club. Pretty cool, huh?

The most beer styles I have tasted are amber ales (27). My favorite styles, though, are German Hefeweizen (3.42), Brown Ale (3.29), and Belgian White (3.26). My least favorite are IPAs (0.95...yuck!), Low Alcohol (1.3), and Double IPA (1.6). Whoa, big surprise there, huh?

The most from one country was the US, naturally (127). Out of the US, the most from a single state was California (45) and Colorado (42). Massachusetts had the highest rated US beers at 3.17. I have also tasted more beers from Boston Beer Company (aka Sam Adams) than any other brewer. Belgium, however, had the highest rated beers of all at 3.37. The Netherlands was the worst at 1.77 (yuck!).

Since my last blog, some noteworthy brews you may want to try include Delirium Nocturnum (Belgian Strong Ale), Sam Adams Octoberfest (Marzen), Rogue HazelNut Brown Nectar (Brown Ale), St Peters Old Style Porter, and Bells Kalamazoo Stout.

Since my last blog, some beers to avoid even if you are dying of thirst in the desert include anything from Flensburger and Redemption Red Ale from Reaper Ales (as bitter as my ex-wife).

I'm still more than 3 weeks ahead of schedule and have lots of beer still to taste, so I'm feeling pretty good right now. I am confident I will make it all the way to the end, which is a good place to be at the halfway point. My marathon is still going smooth and well.

Life is good and so is beer!

"Sant Hilari, Sant Hilari, fill de puta qui no se l'acabi" which is Catalan for "Son of a bitch the one that does not finish the cup." Supposedly that is considered vulgar over there in Spain, but it sounds reasonable to me.

Goal...............524.....365
Progress.........301.....187
Remaining......223.....178

Day 174 – You Know Who Your Friends Are When

My personal email account was hijacked yesterday by a Viagra spam program. Everyone on my contact list received an email from me with no text and a single hyperlink. Clicking on that took the person to a website where Viagra can be purchased.

My wife wondered if I was sending her another kind of message.

Really, honey, I told her. It wasn't me. Properly notified I sprang into action, sending out an email to my entire contact list to not open emails from me if they contained no text and a single hyperlink.

This is one of those situations where you find out who your friends really are. I'll give you a hint. They are NOT the ones who ask you to remove their name from your contact list.

Fine. I should have removed you a long time ago anyway.

For the second week in a row, I've exceeded my quota, opening up my cushion once again. I'm now three weeks ahead of schedule. Before then I had six straight weeks of subpar performance which took me from more than five weeks ahead down to two. It's good to see the needle move in the right direction.

So what's been good since the last blog? Lots. A hefeweizen from Stiegl, an amber lager from Abita, an oatmeal stout from Anderson Valley, and two Belgian Whites, one from la Caracole and another from St. Barnardus. All were given high marks.

What hasn't been good? The worst was New World Porter from Avery. If you like IPA's then this dark beer is for you because it is dry hopped. Porters are not supposed to be really bitter. This one was so bitter, I couldn't finish it.

Life is good and so is beer!

"Oogy wawa" which is Zulu for...well, heck, what else can it be? Say "oogy wawa" in a bar after taking a long pull on your first beer and everyone will understand what you're saying. No translation necessary. I guarantee it.

Goal...............524.....365
Progress.........280.....174
Remaining......244.....191